Pastor
Roller Coaster man that is one ride we all seem to get on but when we are on that ride we learn to deal with lifes ups and downs with Faith Hebrews 11:1 I think about if i had no faith what would that ride be like. Bless the men,woman and children of GOD

Some important points to emphasize;

1.) Keep it age appropriate. Don't try to debate with a two-year-old, and don't assume that a twelve-year-old understands what is going on. If a child wants to discuss what happened, then by all means, do so. You may be amazed at what you learn.

2.) Weigh the situation. A lot of parents discipline for a given situation because that is what their parents did. Is the situation actually in need of addressing, or are you just annoyed, stressed, frustrated, etc. If you can't put into words what they did wrong, and why it is wrong, then reconsider.

3.) Don't put off discipline for an extended time, unless that is somehow part of the discipline. If it takes too long to happen, the reason for discipline is lost, and so is the child's focus on action-vs-consequence. If you need to cool off, tell the child "I need to take a little time to cool off. I don't want to discipline you while I am still so upset about the situation. But we WILL address this. Please go to your room until I call for you."

4.) Make sure the child UNDERSTANDS what is happening. i.e.- the child needs to understand that they are not being disciplined because they made you angry, but because they should not have _ _ _ _ , because _ _ _ _ . This is especially important where a spanking is used. Keep explanations short and to the point. Ask if they have questions. Ask them to explain it back, to be sure that they got the gist of the point.

5.) Always discipline with love for the child. Follow a spanking with a hug, and "I love you". Let them know that it hurts you to have to discipline them, but that you love them enough to help them learn right from wrong, and about consequences. There is no age limit for this.

6.) (Most) Kids aren't dumb. Unfortunately, there are a very few that just won't "get it". It is HIGHLY unlikely that yours is one of them. Most kids can and will surprise you with their logic and memories. If you are not consistent, if you aren't living the example of what you are asking of them, if you discipline in anger instead of love, they will pick up on it and use it against you.
If you fear that your child is one of those few that can't "get it", get professional help for yourself and your child as soon as possible. It will benefit you, your child, and those that your child will associate with throughout their lives.

7.) Don't assume that you have time before you really have to get serious about your relationship with your child... you don't. From start-to-finish, your child is watching you to see who you are, and whether you are a worthy role model. None of us are wholly worthy, but effort counts a HUGE amount.

8.) Unless you somehow direct a child to misbehave, you are not at fault for their choices. Everyone, quite a few times throughout their lives, makes poor choices. As a parent, it is your responsibility to provide guidance and advice. As an individual, a child is going to make choices that are going to make you want to press the "reset" button on their lives. Hopefully, they will learn from their poor choices. Keep loving them. Pray for them. Be available to them. Do NOT enable them to escape the consequences of their poor choices.

9.) The past has passed. Learn from it. Guard against making the same mistakes over and over. Work for present and future success, but leave the past in the past. Bringing up past mistakes and failures is much more likely to cause resentment, than it is to encourage actual change in a person.

10.) Communicate, communicate, COMMUNICATE! Never assume anyone "just knows". Never assume that you know. Ask your child how they are. Ask them about their day. Talk to their teachers and friends. If they believe that you don't care, they are very likely to not care about a lot of things as well. Your child needs to know that you are interested in their lives because you love them.

Again, very timely and to the point. I am anxious to hear the "further discussion". Sometimes I need reminding of the 100/100 percent. Sometimes it seems it is just an average....I am giving 90% while he is giving 110%. I do love my man!